13 Aug Feeling all the Feels
I wrote another post about how I experience empathy and how it effects me, but I ultimately decided not to publish it because there were too many personal details about other people in the post, and I couldn’t publish it without their consent. So this is me taking another stab at it.
I am incredibly empathetic. I am inconveniently empathetic. I am awesomely empathetic! I feel all my emotions (which let me tell you are many) and a great deal of the emotions of those around me. I especially experience this with those I care about and when people are allowing themselves to be vulnerable. Groups of people can overwhelm me especially when conversations are about topics that the people discussing them are emotionally invested in.
I am defined by this trait. It has had a direct effect on most if not all of the choices I have made in my life. When I was younger I was unaware of it. I felt my feelings and the feelings of people around me, so I made choices based on emotions that weren’t even mine. I was easily overwhelmed and often my emotions were unstable and volatile. Now that I’m older, I understand it. I can sense when I’m being overwhelmed by the emotional energy of a room. I can can choose to distance myself from it. I make choices to nurture my empathy at some points and to protect myself from it at others. I’m not perfect at it, but I’m learning. At times I still struggle with it when it pertains to those closest to me; it can be most intense with those I love. Yet, remaining aware and mindful of the situation and the emotions I experience are helpful in my development of this skill.
It is a fine line I walk. I love that I can relate to people and understand their plight as well as their joy; however, that many emotions can be intense. I often find myself withdrawing and trying to shut it out. I don’t want to turn off this ability though. Controlling it and harnessing it are of the utmost importance to me. Much of what I love is tied to this skill Sex Geekdom, my advocating for Social Justice, studying Human Resources, teaching Sex Ed, it all relates back to EMPATHY. One way or another I will learn to master this. I hope you will join me in this journey.
Welcome to my world. There are lots of feels here. Let’s talk about all of them, and then go out and make the world a better place. Are you in?